Traveling at the speed of retirees

HOLA!

We thought we were going to an RV park in south Texas just to avoid the harsh temperatures of winters up north. However, we discovered that we had entered a 'parallel' universe that I now refer to as "Use-ta Land". It is located in an area that 'use-ta' be a citrus grove. A local citizen told me, "There use-ta be nice oranges on those trees, but back in 'ought-four' a freeze kilt 'em (she didn't really say kilt, but she just as soon have). Now those oranges are only good for making lemonade." I guess they use-ta be sweet and now they are sour.

Almost every conversation includes some reference to 'use-ta'. "I use-ta play tennis everyday, but that was when I use-ta have good knees." "I use-ta shovel snow all winter up in Canada, but they didn't use-ta have as much snow as they do now." "We use-ta be full-time RVers, but we got off the road years ago." "We use-ta winter in Arizona, but the wind is too bad." "We use-ta go to Mexico, but now it's too dangerous. Besides, the booze isn't as cheap as it use-ta be."

The nice thing about 'Use-ta Land' is that I can tell folks, "I use-ta weigh 120 pounds." And I don't have to tell them whether it was 4 years ago or 40. Maybe I should tell the truth--I use-ta, but...

Life in the fast lane? this ain't it!!

Traveling by car is easy. Get up, get dressed, grab some coffee and a danish as you leave the motel. Stay ahead of the truckers, swing thru the drive-thru for lunch, travel until you see a vacancy sign. You might get in 5 or 6 hundred miles in 8 to 10 hours.

Travel in an RV and things are a little different. Get up, move the toaster so you can plug in the coffeepot, move the printer so you can make the toast. Get dressed after digging thru the closet to find the last clean sweatshirt (why is it always cold here?). Unplug from shore power, disconnect the hose--no, wait--I still need water to wash dishes. Reconnect the hose, take the dog for a walk. Wash dishes, disconnect, pull in the slides, hook up the tow vehicle, check the lights. Wow--we hit the road at 9:30 this morning!! Stop for fuel, ignore the icy stares of the truck drivers (not always friendly to RVers) and get in the 'I can only get my rig to 50 on this hill' lane. Stop at a rest area for lunch, take a nap, walk the dog, and get back on the road at 1:30. Drive until you wonder why you ever thought this was a good idea and begin looking for an RV park. Discover if you don't stop at this one you'll have to drive another 6 hours to the next one. Get the RV pulled in, hooked up and ready for the night. Check the weather--freezing temps mean you need to shut off the water. Walk the dog. Get the lawn chair out and have a cold one--it's 3 pm. Congratulations--you made all of 200 miles in 5 1/2 hours. Are we having fun yet?

Like I said, "This ain't the fast lane!"